Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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