Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
