i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
