Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
