I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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