Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
