What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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