oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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