READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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