i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
