if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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