did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
