the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
there is glitter all over my balls
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