I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
