We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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