Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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