cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize