isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
