I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
