i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
