that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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