weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
