Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
