if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
