Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
