can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
