There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
