i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
