i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
