ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
