They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize