You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
