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Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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