Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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