You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize