I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
