Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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