after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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