He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
