i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
