I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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