I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
bring money and cleavage
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
