I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
