Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
