Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
