my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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