HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
