ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize