awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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