I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am one with the molecules
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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