i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
