just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
