we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
