Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like eating out sand paper
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everclear isn't food dammit
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
