and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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