spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
