you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
