I'm really into asian looking animals
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
