im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
