i permit you to call me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
